rant #2

So let's say you gave me something, which at some point would be nothing since I do not believe in you - my denying you implies denying that those people say you have granted me. Either way, I am not aiming at saying we do not exist: this desk is real, so are the keys and the words and the thought they convey, so are these women chatting by me, so is the song in the distance. I cannot simply state that I am sure about what I have mentioned above, yet this stream of words regarding you knitting up my life seems rather dubious. I mean, you are nowhere to be seen, so how can I say I feel your touch? I have got to admit you were able to reach me. However, your apparent lack of interest did it. Oblivion is comeuppance as far as I have been taught. Yeah, you may not notice, and yeah, there may be another kneeling before, but I ask you, do they worship you like me? You are not vengeful, I am. Nevertheless, how can I be so at one who does not exist? So this is no vengeance, but the fact that I talk to myself about the non-factual essence of those whom I love no more. Love, don't get me started on love.